Teenagers go through adolescence filled with hormonal shifts and social pressures that can affect their moods and actions. During this period, it can be tough for parents to separate typical teenage behavior from more serious warning signs.
Madison Braid, a licensed professional counselor and enrollment director at Embark Behavioral Health, says that while it’s normal for teens to seem moody or volatile, certain changes in their behavior should not be ignored. It’s an essential skill for parents and family members to recognize these indicators early.
For example, a sudden withdrawal from activities or extreme changes in personality may indicate that a teenager is struggling.
Experts explain that mental health issues often start during the teenage years. Braid emphasizes that if your gut is telling you something seems off, it’s likely best to address it sooner rather than later. While young people often have ups and downs, if the symptoms become too intense or changes in their daily life are hard to manage, it’s time to get a professional assessment.
Watching for common behaviors that seem unusual can be the first step toward getting help. Speaking to a mental health professional can determine if there is a serious mental illness or condition that needs to be investigated deeply.
By knowing what behaviors to watch, parents and caregivers can provide the care and support teenagers need during a tough time.
Understanding Teens and Their Context
During the teenage years, brains are developing, and surging hormones affect mood and emotional patterns. This time is transformative, filled with an exploration of identity and a push for autonomy that can sometimes stray beyond what’s considered typical.
Normal teenage behavior often includes moments of defiance and risky actions, but it’s vital to be watchful for shifts that go further. Recognizing changes in happiness, health, and behaviors that stray from expected markers can suggest a need for intervention.
Maintaining a balance between support and ensuring safety requires understanding, as teenagers navigate this turmoil and exploration of their own emotional world.
What Are Red Flag Behaviors?
Red flag behaviors in teens are often marked by an observable change in their mood or daily behavior that raises concern. Eric Wood, PhD, LPC, the director of TCU Counseling and Mental Health, mentions that while there isn’t always a clear scientific answer, parents can often sense when something feels off.
This intuition, based on their experience and history with their child, is usually correct. A sudden shift in a teen’s appearance, such as a dramatic change in style or dress, or failing to maintain hygiene, could indicate deeper struggles. Intense, anxious, or depressed moods are also key indicators, especially if they accompany isolating from friends, poor performance in school, or joining a new, negative social group.
Dr. Wood suggests using an acronym like BAES (Behavior, Appearance, Emotions, and Situations) to help parents with the process of recognizing these red flags. If your teen is suddenly overindulging in social media, experiencing social rejection, or showing a noticeable failure in school activities, it’s time to take these signs seriously.
A sudden shift in how they interact with others, especially moving away from peers they once enjoyed, can further point to deeper issues. By staying watchful, parents can respond before the worst-case scenario develops.
Normal Behavior Traits in Teens
Understanding what normal teenage behavior looks like is important before jumping to conclusions about red flags. It’s normal for teens to be moody, challenge authority, or exhibit behaviors that might seem concerning to parents.
Sometimes, what parents might think are red flags can simply be part of growing up. Being mindful of these common changes helps in distinguishing between true signs of trouble and the natural ups and downs that come with the teenage years.
Mood Swings and Emotional Fluctuations
During adolescence, it’s normal for teens to experience mood swings and intense emotional fluctuations. These changes often come from hormonal shifts, making it a challenging time for both teens and their parents.
Encouraging open ways to communicate and express feelings can help them navigate this rollercoaster of emotions. This is an important part of promoting emotional health and understanding that these swings are often just a natural phase of teenage life.
Seeking Independence
As teenagers grow, they naturally seek to gain more independence and establish their own identities. This often means challenging authority and pushing against the rules set by adults. While it can be tough, they need the freedom to explore who they are.
The key is to strike a balance between offering guidance and allowing them the space to learn from their own experiences. This process of seeking autonomy is a normal and important part of growing up.
Social Peer Influence
Peers play a large role in shaping teens’ behaviors and preferences. While positive peer influence can support healthy development, it’s equally important for parents to monitor their teen’s social circle. Getting involved in unhealthy group dynamics may lead to risky teenage behavior, making it crucial to stay aware of changes in friendships and group activities.
Common Red Flags in Teenage Behavior
Signs of Low Self-Esteem
Adolescents with low self-esteem often compare themselves to others, especially on social media, leading to feelings of anxiety or depression. Research suggests that intense self-dislike can predict more serious issues like self-harm or substance use.
Parents and caregivers need to talk openly and foster a safe environment to help teens build confidence. Braid advises addressing this underlying issue early by focusing on positive ways to instill self-worth, rather than simply avoiding difficult topics.
Hopelessness or Worthlessness
When teens start withdrawing from activities they once enjoyed, show a lack of interest in daily life, or have changes in appetite and sleep, it could point to feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness. These emotions are more than just fleeting moods; if they are prolonged, it may indicate a serious underlying issue.
Counselors and therapists stress the importance of being empathetic and open to teens expressing their feelings. Seeking support from a mental health professional can be a key step in providing the reassurance and validation needed for their healing and well-being.
Sleeping Problems
Sleep problems are common among teens, but frequent issues like sleeping very late, sleeping during the day, or trouble falling asleep can be a red flag for underlying mental health concerns. Anxiety disorders, bipolar conditions, or attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder are often linked to sleep disruptions.
When teens get less than the adequate 8-10 hours of sleep they require, it can contribute to irritability, moodiness, and even aggressive behavior. Poor sleep quality can also disrupt their ability to focus, leading to trouble concentrating and difficulty in managing daily tasks.
Changes in sleep patterns like sleeping until noon or trouble waking up in the mornings can be a signal of significant emotional distress. These shifts might indicate struggles with self-harm, substance abuse, or other mental health concerns.
Noting sudden changes in a teen’s sleep routines is key to identifying potential problems. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine suggests creating a calming bedtime routine and limiting electronic use before bed to improve sleep.
However, if sleeping problems persist, it’s important to seek guidance from a healthcare professional who can assess for conditions that may be associated with these symptoms.
Addressing sleep issues early can alleviate many of the challenges teens face. Openly communicate with your teen to understand what might be disrupting their sleep.
Managing sleep hygiene by setting consistent bedtimes and creating a relaxing environment can lead to better overall health. In some cases, seeking help from a professional is necessary, especially if sleep problems are accompanied by other signs of distress, like suicidal thoughts or hyperactivity.
Recognizing and prioritizing healthy sleep habits can make a big difference in their physical and mental well-being.
Sudden Decline in Academic Grades
When a teenager’s grades suddenly drop, it’s often a clear signal that something deeper is happening. This sudden decline can be due to several factors, such as family issues, learning disabilities, or even bullying. As a parent or educator, it’s crucial to observe these changes and take them seriously.
For example, a student who was once confident and consistent in their schoolwork might start to seem unmotivated or tired. They may also struggle to focus in the classroom and perform below their ability.
These behaviors can be indicators of mental health challenges like depression or ADHD, or perhaps external problems such as substance abuse or social issues.
Addressing these issues early is essential. Parents, school counselors, and educators must communicate openly and provide the necessary guidance and supportive environment. For example, school counselors can help identify if the student is being bullied or facing family issues, while coaches and teachers can foster a friendly and understanding classroom.
It’s crucial to look beyond just the grades and try to determine the underlying problems. Insights from the school environment, family, and community can contribute to a better understanding of the situation. Sometimes, a student might be facing learning disabilities that have gone unnoticed, affecting their academic performance.
A different approach is to build a support network that includes parents, educators, school counselors, and even peers. Creating an open line of communication with the student is valuable to address their problems. Intervene early by using reliable resources like mental health professionals or learning specialists to help restore the student’s well-being.
Simple steps, like developing a consistent routine or providing extra academic support, can help the student regain their motivation and slowly cope with the changes they are facing. Remember, identifying these signs and taking action can make a significant impact on a teenager’s life.
Lack of Interest in Activities
When a teen shows a sudden lack of interest in activities they previously enjoyed, it can be a red flag for underlying problems like depression, bullying, or emotional struggles. For instance, a teenager who used to take pleasure in sports, art, or playing an instrument might start avoiding these things altogether.
This lack of joy and motivation could also indicate social issues, like trouble with friends or bullying. Parents should pay close attention to these warning signs and note if their child is spending more time alone or no longer engaging in activities like hiking or group hobbies.
Early attention to these changes is crucial in addressing potential life challenges the teen might be facing.
Visible Changes in Self-Care and Appearance
When teens start to neglect their self-care, it can be a sign that something is amiss. For example, a teenager might stop brushing hair, changing clothes regularly, or show poor grooming habits. They may also start wearing the same sweatshirts regardless of the weather, which can indicate emotional distress like depression or anxiety.
This visible change, such as messy hair or heavy clothing choices, could be linked to mental health issues, including ADHD or learning problems. Parents and caregivers should pay attention if an adolescent stops their usual hygiene routine, as it might require an investigation into the feeling of normal day-to-day matters and possible support.
Abandoning Friends and Risky Behavior
When a teen starts abandoning their friends and activities they used to enjoy, it can be a red flag for something serious. They might pull away from their usual friend group and start forming connections with a new crowd that pushes risky behavior.
This can include reckless actions like driving dangerously, experimenting with substance use, or giving in to peer pressure for thrills. Sometimes, these actions are an indication that the teen feels internally anxious, depressed, or misunderstood.
Parents need to pay attention to these changes, as they may express an underlying desire to escape from their problems or fears. Addressing these issues early can prevent serious consequences before they spiral out of control.
Signs of Severe Anxiety and Depression
When a teen shows constant worry, irritable mood, or starts avoiding activities, it might be a red flag of serious anxiety or depression. This debilitating feeling can disrupt their daily life, causing problems like an inability to focus on schoolwork, sleep disturbances, or avoiding social contacts.
Some may even become withdrawn and shut themselves out from family. Parents should notice if the teen appears anxious all the time or talks about suicidal thoughts, as these are signs that need to be addressed right away.
Excessive worry or failure to manage emotions can interfere with their general health, affecting how they eat, sleep, and perform in their normal routine. If left untreated, it can lead to more severe mental health issues, so seeking help early is key.
Self-Medication with Drugs and Alcohol
If a teen begins to self-medicate with drugs or alcohol, it can be a serious sign of underlying mental health problems. They might become secretive, start hiding things in their room, or show changes in appearance like bloodshot or watery eyes.
Other signs include the smell of smoke or alcohol on their breath or clothes, changes in hygiene, and diminished focus on school and activities. Early intervention is key, as ignoring these behaviors can lead to more extreme issues.
Parents should notice any irritability or unusual sleeping patterns, as these might indicate the teen is using substances to cope. This needs to be addressed quickly to prevent further problems and get the right treatment.
Extreme Mood Swings
During adolescence, teens go through many changes in their biology and life, leading to some natural mood swings. However, when these mood changes become abrupt, intense, and ongoing, it can be a red flag for deeper mental health issues like bipolar disorder or severe stress.
These fluctuations can range from feeling extremely happy one moment to experiencing deep lows within a few hours. If these emotional shifts are persistent and affect daily activities, family members and friends should take note.
Parents often notice these changes first, but it’s important not to be judgmental. Instead, open communication and showing empathy can provide the support the teen needs.
Such intense mood swings can cause disruption in studies, relationships, and even social situations, making it hard for the teen to maintain stability. Teachers, friends, and other family members might also observe excessive emotional reactions that don’t match the situation.
It’s crucial to involve experts if these mood swings appear severe or frequent because they might indicate an underlying mental illness. Addressing these concerns with the right guidance and support can help teens learn how to manage their emotions effectively and improve their overall well-being.
Sudden Changes in Eating Habits and Weight
When teenagers show sudden changes in their eating habits or weight, it can be a red flag for underlying emotional or mental health concerns. For example, a teen might start skipping meals or become overly restrictive with their diet, which could be a sign of anorexia nervosa or other eating disorders.
On the other hand, some may binge eat when dealing with stress, anxiety, or depression, leading to noticeable weight gain. These shifts in eating patterns are not just about food; they often reflect deeper emotional challenges related to body image or self-acceptance.
As parents and friends, it’s important to approach these signs with sensitivity and care, creating an open space for conversations about their mental health.
Support from professionals is crucial for teens struggling with disordered eating behaviors. Early guidance from a doctor or counselor can help them understand the impact of these changes on their growth and mental health.
Encouraging body positivity and a healthier relationship with food can aid in the recovery process. Teens need a supportive environment that prioritizes their well-being, where they feel comfortable talking about their journey and seeking help.
It’s essential to watch for these changes and address them as part of ongoing mental health care, promoting both emotional and physical health.
Trouble Staying Focused
If a teen shows attention difficulties like forgetting to complete homework, leaving chores unfinished, or experiencing procrastination, it can be a sign that something is not right. They may struggle with school work, frequently losing things, or show extreme messiness in their personal spaces.
These behaviors can sometimes indicate conditions such as ADHD, depression, anxiety disorders, or even PTSD. Being present and paying attention to these patterns is important, as they often signal deeper issues that need to be addressed to help the teen manage their daily life effectively.
Signs of Self-Harm and Suicidal Thoughts
When a teen starts showing signs of self-harm, it is a serious red flag that must be addressed immediately. Self-harm often includes cutting, burning, or deliberate injuries using sharp objects like scissors or glass. You might notice bruises, scratches, or cuts on hidden areas like the wrists, thighs, or underneath their clothing. Blood stains on clothes or torn tissue paper in the bedroom could also be warning signs.
Teens might use self-harm as a way to gain some control over their intense emotional pain or to release built-up tension. It’s crucial for parents, family, and friends to be listening and provide emotional support during these difficult times.
If persistent symptoms of self-harm or suicidal thoughts are present, it’s an emergency situation that requires immediate intervention. Mental health professionals, such as therapists and counselors, can help create a safety plan to support the teen’s recovery.
This plan might include monitoring their mood, limiting access to sharp objects like safety pins, and providing a safe and supportive environment for them to express their emotions. Encouraging validation of their feelings and connecting them with mental health hotlines can be essential steps towards healing.
Remember, timely and compassionate intervention can greatly impact a teen’s mental health journey.
Technology Addiction
When teenagers use technology excessively, it can be a red flag of addiction. This overuse can negatively affect their daily life, causing issues like poor sleep habits, irritability, or even panic when their phone or Wi-Fi isn’t available.
Sudden changes in behavior, such as dropping academic performance, can also be warning signs that technology is playing a more significant role than it should. If it interferes with normal routines, like spending time with family or focusing on schoolwork, it’s important to address these habits early to bring balance back to their lives.
Anger and Aggression
Frequent episodes of intense anger or aggression in teenagers can be a red flag for deeper emotional or mental health issues. While some irritability and moodiness are normal due to hormonal changes, excessive or explosive outbursts may indicate problems like depression, low self-esteem, or stress. Adolescents may become defiant or verbally aggressive when they feel disrespected, inadequate, or overwhelmed by life’s challenges.
This behavior can also be linked to bullying, grief, or trauma. Parents, teachers, and friends should be aware of these warning signs, especially if they are persistent and disproportionate to the situation, as they can affect the teen’s relationships and academic performance.
To help teens cope with anger, an open and non-judgmental approach is key. Encourage healthy coping mechanisms such as mindfulness, relaxation techniques, and positive communication. Therapy or counseling with mental health professionals can provide a safe space to explore underlying feelings of guilt, shame, or stress.
Teaching compassion and offering adequate support can guide teens toward healthier ways of expressing emotions. It’s also important for adults to model positive behaviors and coping strategies, helping adolescents learn how to handle their emotions and maintain their overall well-being.
Withdrawing from Social Interactions and Isolation
When a teenager begins to withdraw from social interactions and spend more time alone, it can be a red flag for deeper emotional or mental health issues. While some privacy is normal during adolescence, extreme avoidance of friends, family, and social gatherings may indicate problems like depression, social anxiety disorder, or even the effects of bullying.
You might notice a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed or a disengagement from their usual social networks. Parents and peers should pay close attention to these changes, as long-term isolation can increase the risk of more severe mental health problems.
Creating a safe and supportive environment is crucial for reaching out to a teen experiencing withdrawal. Family members, counselors, and friends can offer guidance and support by encouraging open conversations about their feelings and challenges. It’s also helpful to limit technology and media use if it’s contributing to their isolation.
In cases where social withdrawal becomes severe, seeking help from a professional can provide the teen with coping strategies and treatment options tailored to their needs. Early intervention and understanding can make a big difference in their overall well-being.
Signs of Excessive Secrecy and Paranoia
Teenage secrecy is normal as they seek more independence, but when it becomes excessive, it can be a red flag. Parents may notice their teen being overly paranoid about their privacy or showing an intense fear of being judged. This kind of behavior might be a sign of deeper mental health issues like anxiety, PTSD, or even early symptoms of schizophrenia.
A teen who is excessively secretive might be suffering from serious internal struggles, possibly linked to substance use or self-harm. It’s crucial to approach them with a positive and self-aware attitude, making them feel less vulnerable while seeking appropriate treatment if needed.
How to Spot Red Flags in Teenage Behavior
For parents who are concerned about their teen’s behavior, a good rule of thumb is to look for changes lasting more than two weeks. While normal teenage angst can include a bad day or a sad mood, ongoing low mood or withdrawal might indicate they are experiencing deeper issues.
It’s important to start a gentle conversation to understand what’s going on. If the teen shows signs of ongoing physical health problems or pain, consulting a doctor is wise. Also, be mindful of their mental health and seek professional help if needed.
Keeping Communication Open
Open and honest conversation is key to spotting red flag symptoms in teens. When communication is lacking, feelings of isolation and loneliness can exacerbate existing problems. Checking in regularly and being receptive to their thoughts and emotions helps in addressing issues early before they become entrenched and persist into adulthood.
If a teen is feeling ignored, they may avoid discussing their worries, making it harder to identify mental health issues. A gentle nudge towards an open dialogue shows them you are there to support them, especially when they find it difficult to express their thoughts. This healthy approach can be the most important action in helping them feel understood and safe.
Watch for Secrecy
Parents should stay alert if their teen suddenly starts behaving very secretively or avoids sharing details about their life. While it’s normal for teens to want some privacy, there’s a distinction between that and complete secrecy, which can be a red flag.
If your teen absolutely refuses to talk about anything, it could lead to concerns like depression or other issues, as shown in various research studies. Trust your intuition; even though it’s impossible to monitor everything, paying attention when they feel distant is key.
Note the Changes in Behaviors
Pay attention to sudden changes in your teen’s behavior, as these can be clear red flags of underlying problems. If they start isolating themselves, show withdrawal from activities they once enjoyed, or become more irritable around friends and family, it’s important to notice.
Unusual patterns like frequent absences from school, complaining of aches or digestive issues, and increased tardiness can signal emotional or mental distress. Spending more time in their room, avoiding social situations, or skipping morning routines like showers can also be tell-tale signs. If these changes persist, consider seeking treatment and support to address what might be going on.
What to Do if You Notice Red Flags
If you see red flag behaviors in your teen, start by talking to them in a calm and open way. It’s important to listen without judgment and validate their feelings, showing that you understand their perspective. Refrain from giving advice right away or trying to “fix” the problem, as this can make them feel judged. Instead, offer support and space to express their emotions.
Sometimes, involving others like teachers, coaches, peers, or siblings can be helpful in raising concerns and providing additional strategies for addressing the behavior. Always take their worries seriously, as this shows that you genuinely care about their mental health and well-being.
Seize the Moment
When your teen gives you an opening to talk, it’s important to seize that moment and follow their lead. As Tellone suggests, give your full attention and listen without interrupting to show that you are genuinely interested in what they have to say.
By doing this, you make them feel invited to share more, building trust. It’s crucial to focus on their words and feelings, letting them know you are there for them whenever they need to talk.
Finding the Right Moment to Talk
When you notice red flags in your teen’s behavior, picking the right time to have a conversation is crucial. Choose a quiet, private, and comfortable setting where there are fewer distractions. As Dr. Egger suggests, sometimes it’s easier to talk during a side-by-side activity rather than a direct, face-to-face chat.
For example, cooking together or playing a game can make your teen feel more at ease and open to sharing. Picking the right time and setting is key to creating a natural and supportive environment for both of you.
Being Real and Understanding Their Feelings
When you start an open and honest conversation with your teen, it’s important to show you are concerned about their well-being. Dr. Egger advises using “I Statements” to share your observations without blaming or accusing them.
For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed you seem sad and worried lately, and I’m concerned.” This helps them feel that their feelings are valid and OK. Emphasize that talking about mental health is as important as overall health, and feeling moody or having difficult days is normal, not shameful. By being sincere and showing care, you create a space where they feel safe to talk openly.
Ask Open Ended Questions
When talking to your teen, it’s helpful to ask open-ended questions that go beyond a simple yes or no answer. Dr. Egger suggests using phrases like, “Can you tell me what’s going on?” to make it easier for them to openly communicate their thoughts and feelings. This practice not only shows empathy and validation but also helps normalize the conversation about mental health.
By reducing stigma and negative beliefs about seeking help, you create a space where your teen feels accepted, heard, and more inclined to talk about any issue. It’s like opening a door; once it’s slightly open, it’s easier for them to walk through and share their experience.
Support Healthy Eating Habits
To help your teen’s physical and psychological well-being, encourage a healthy diet since both are closely linked. Include whole foods like fresh fruits, vegetables, seafoods, and lean poultry in their meals to provide essential fiber and nutrients. It’s also good to embrace preparing snacks together, using this time to explain the benefits of making nutritious choices.
Avoid packaged, processed, or microwavable food with additives and preservatives, as they can disrupt the good bacteria in the gut. Stock the fridge and pantry with healthy options and limit sugar intake to promote a positive mental state. This approach gives them a sense of control over their eating style.
Activities to Build Self-Worth
Boosting a teen’s self-esteem can be very beneficial, especially when the whole family gets involved. Directing your teen to participate in activities together can strengthen your connection and make them feel supported rather than singled out or punished. For effective and sustainable change, identify the right activities that match their interests.
For example, if they’re interested in skin care, plan a spa day at home with facials. This can be a fun way to encourage self-care and even open up conversation. Small acts like these, integrated into a routine, can create a positive shift and make them feel valued.
Creating Healthy Boundaries
Setting boundaries is important, especially when it comes to screen time and technology, which are now woven into daily life. To make it relevant for the whole family, try establishing clear rules, like refusing to scroll social media or play video games during meals.
Define what is appropriate screen use in your household and implement rules, such as “no screens at the dinner table,” which both parents and teens should follow. This creates clear expectations and shows that everyone is upholding these values.
Write these guidelines down so they are understood and not seen as just being punished. Consistency is key; the more consistent you are, the more these boundaries become an ingrained aspect of the family routine.
Show Willingness to Help
Let your teen know you are always there and willing to help them. Discuss potential solutions and resources, such as talking to a school counselor or seeing a mental health professional. Taking this step is especially important since studies have found that nearly 50% of kids with a mental health disorder did not receive treatment or counseling. Being open and supportive can make it easier for them to seek help when needed.
Keep Checking In
After the initial conversation, regularly check in with your teen to show that your support is ongoing. Let them know you are always available if they need to talk. This simple act helps them feel cared for and reminds them that they are not alone in whatever they’re facing.
