Authoritarian parenting is known for its strict rules and high expectations. As a parent, you might use chore charts to ensure children do their tasks around the house and create a refrigerator that’s neatly decorated with their handprint art and achievements.
This style insists that kids obey without much room for questioning or reasoning. While some pediatricians and experts argue that such a structure can be effective in the short term, they also note the potential impact on a child’s mental and emotional well-being in the long run. Constantly managing inflexible rules can leave kids feeling controlled, possibly affecting their self-esteem and making them more rebellious.
These children might struggle with thinking independently and have trouble managing their emotions. Although it’s common for authoritarian parents to provide a clear sense of rationale, the lack of a give and take approach can hinder a child’s ability to form healthy concepts of behavior and development.
Therefore we are going to explain the pros and cons of authoritarian parenting. Keep reading….
Types of Parenting Styles
- Authoritarian parenting
- Authoritative parenting
- Permissive Parenting
- Uninvolved/Neglectful Parenting
Note: I have already written an detailed article about the types of parenting styles. Read also
What Is Authoritarian Parenting?
Authoritarian parents are known for their strict parenting style, which is often seen as the opposite of a permissive approach. They set clear rules that children must follow without much room for discussion or feedback. In my experience, these parents firmly believe that this method will produce capable, high-achieving members of society.
However, the cost can be significant. When kids are expected to obey without the chance to express their opinions, it can impact their self-worth and self-esteem. Jeff Nalin, PsyD, a licensed clinical psychologist and founder of Paradigm Treatment Centers, has observed that an emphasis on strict discipline and order can sometimes hinder a child’s ability to make healthy choices later in life.
These parents often act like the boss of the family, setting demands and expecting complete obedience. They may punish lying, taking a toy, or breaking a rule by grounding their child or taking away privileges like video games for a long time.
The focus on conformity and control means there is little flexibility or open communication, and kids are discouraged from questioning the rules. This low responsiveness to their children’s needs can create an environment where kids feel angry and might lash out, sometimes resulting in yelling or emotional withdrawal.
Though this stance is often driven by well-intentioned motives to cultivate competent and accomplished individuals, it can sometimes lead to unintended outcomes like emotional stress and poor communication skills.
Authoritarian parents also prioritize strict guidelines and regulations over understanding and nurturing their child’s unique viewpoints. While they aim to maintain a stern stance to ensure their kids become versatile and well-rounded, they might unintentionally impede their children’s capacity to navigate choices and relationships effectively.
The strict regimen can leave little room for openness, and the lack of considerations for the child’s feelings may affect their emotional development in the long term.
Characteristics of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents are known for their high expectations and a parenting style that leaves little room for flexibility. They set extensive rules and believe that children should strictly follow them. The approach often resembles the saying, “children should be seen and not heard,” where kids are expected to complete chores from a young age and adhere to safety guidelines.
Any broken rule is met with firm consequences, often in the form of threats or punishments. In my experience, this method relies heavily on making kids “fall in line” rather than providing responsiveness or affection.
A common characteristic of this style is the use of phrases like “Because I said so,” emphasizing obedience without offering explanations. Aude Henin, PhD, the co-director of the Child Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy Program at Massachusetts General Hospital, points out that these parents focus more on punishing bad behavior than using positive reinforcement or praise.
In such homes, if kids question a rule or break it, they are immediately reprimanded, sometimes through harsh methods like shaming or even corporal punishment. This rigid, controlling attitude can make parents seem cold and aloof, often micromanaging their children’s lives to ensure they conform to their high standards.
This strictness extends to every aspect of a child’s day, from academics to daily routines. Authoritarian parents often nag or yell to maintain control, showing little encouragement for their child’s independent choices. The goal is often to raise well-behaved, obedient children, but the negative impact of this parent-centric decision-making can be significant.
It limits a child’s autonomy and emotional expression, making it harder for them to develop their own personalities and social skills. A 2018 study even suggests that such punitive discipline and strict control can have lasting effects on a child’s temperament and attachment styles.
Examples of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting often comes with clear limitations on things like screen time and social activities. For example, a child may be disallowed from playdates if it doesn’t fit within the strict schedule or if their friendships don’t meet the parent’s approval.
When it comes to food, it’s often a strict “eat or go hungry” approach, with no room for preferences or treats outside of the set routine. Bedtime is another area where rules are firm; there’s usually a designated time that must be followed without any negotiation or adjusting.
Extracurricular activities are selected by the parents, not based on the child’s interests, but more so on what the parents deem fit, often involving careful decision and setting regulations.
Electronic device usage is strictly restricted, usually only for educational purposes, and children must adhere to the limits set without much room for individual responsibilities or discussions about their technology needs.
This style of parenting is all about controlling and ensuring the child follows rules, sometimes forbidding activities they think don’t align with their perspective. While some parents see these consequences as important, it often doesn’t leave much room for understanding the child’s social needs.
Why Do Some Parents Choose Authoritarian Parenting?
Many parents practice the authoritarian parenting style because of their own upbringing or cultural trends. In some households, strict compliance is seen as a way to prepare kids for future challenges, believing that a disciplined approach will help them face life’s hardships.
Research suggests that parental personality traits, like neuroticism or anxiousness, along with the child’s temperament, can influence this choice. In certain countries like China, this style is considered a norm, especially in lower socioeconomic groups, where parents feel it’s the best way to ensure their children succeed.
A sincere desire to avoid harm and keep children safe also drives some parents toward this approach, even though it might have psychological implications for the child’s mental health.
Pros of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parents often raise children who are well-behaved and well-mannered, as they know there will be severe consequences if they step out of line. This parenting style makes kids highly aware of their surroundings, helping them stand out for following expected behavior.
While the benefits of this approach are limited and mostly short-lived, it does create a sense of discipline that can be useful in certain situations. However, the scope and duration of these advantages are restricted, often not extending far into a child’s development.
Good behavior
Authoritarian parenting makes rules crystal clear, so children develop a solid understanding of what is considered acceptable behavior. They become very attuned to the negative consequences of doing something wrong, which helps them avoid stepping out of line.
This clear structure can lead to a sense of security, as kids know exactly what is expected of them and what actions to avoid. This approach emphasizes discipline, creating an environment where children are more likely to follow guidelines.
Safety and Risk Avoidance
Authoritarian parenting places a strong emphasis on the safety of the child, both emotional and physical. By setting strict rules, parents aim to shield their kids from risky behavior and dangerous situations, teaching them to stay away from potentially harmful actions.
For example, wearing helmets, seatbelts, and adhering to curfews become non-negotiable rules to ensure that children follow these important safety measures. This structure can provide an additional layer of protection during their formative years, as kids learn to assess potential dangers and avoid unsafe activities.
However, critics argue that this strict adherence to rules may come with disadvantages, such as a lack of autonomy and independent decision-making.
While the protective nature of this style can be effective in preventing experimenting with substances or engaging in risky behavior, it might also limit individual growth. The key is for parents to critically consider their child’s unique temperament and the specific situations where safety is paramount.
High achievement
Children raised by authoritarian parents often learn to adhere to detailed plans and precise instructions. This structure helps them understand the specific steps needed to accomplish a goal. Because they are used to following strict guidelines, these children can develop a disciplined mindset that drives them to achieve high standards in school or other activities.
This focused approach can lead to high achievement, as they become accustomed to working hard and staying on track to meet expectations.
Clear Structure and Predictable Boundaries
Proponents of authoritarian parenting argue that having clear boundaries and a structured environment gives children a strong sense of predictability and stability. With well-defined rules and expectations, kids feel a sense of security because they know what is expected of them. Establishing routines like regular meal times, bedtime, and homework schedules creates a consistent lifestyle.
This structure also helps children understand the cause-and-effect relationship between their behavior and its consequences, aiding them in navigating various societal contexts where clear rules are common. Such a well-organized, disciplined lifestyle can teach them to follow rules and meet expectations as they grow.
Strong Work Ethic and Discipline
Advocates of authoritarian parenting believe that the emphasis on discipline and hard work helps to instill a solid work ethic in children. By following strict rules and meeting high expectations, kids learn the importance of responsibility and fulfilling their obligations.
This style teaches them to take their tasks and commitments seriously, whether it’s in their academic pursuits or extracurricular activities. Through this focus on diligence and determination, children often grow up understanding the value of effort and persistence in achieving their goals.
Respect for Authority
Authoritarian parenting places a strong emphasis on parental authority, which proponents argue helps teach children to respect authority figures in different areas of life. By learning to follow rules at home, kids become better prepared to navigate settings like school, where they must engage respectfully with teachers, and later in the workforce and professional environments.
This structured framework can be valuable in teaching them the importance of adhering to rules and expectations, which is seen as an essential skill for successful social interactions.
Cons of Authoritarian Parenting
Authoritarian parenting can have several disadvantages for kids. Studies show that this rigid structure and lack of flexibility may lead to depression and anxiety in children. With caregivers demanding strict obedience, children often struggle with self-esteem and may become emotionally withdrawn.
They might also face difficulty in thinking critically or making independent decisions, leading to challenges in their emotional development. Some children may even become rebellious, pushing back against the tight control this parenting style imposes.
Relying Too Much on Rules
Authoritarian parenting focuses on strict rules and enforcing them, expecting children to strictly adhere to every guideline. However, when kids are confronted with new situations that don’t have clear guidelines, they may feel insecure and unsure of how to behave.
This lack of practice in critical thinking and problem-solving skills can make it harder for them to handle challenges independently, as they are used to following rules rather than thinking for themselves.
Emotional Disconnection
Authoritarian parenting often stresses compliance over the importance of children’s feelings, leading kids to shy away from expressing emotions. This can result in them becoming emotionally withdrawn, as they learn to suppress their feelings to follow the strict rules.
The lack of warmth and responsiveness in this parenting style can cause emotional strain, making it harder for children to understand and manage their emotions. This suppression can lead to stress, anxiety, and low self-esteem, potentially hindering their ability to handle emotional difficulties later in life.
Low Self-Esteem
In an authoritarian environment, the heavy emphasis on strict rules and meeting parental expectations can greatly affect a child’s self-esteem. Constant focus on the cause and consequence of every action leaves little room for them to trust their natural ability to make choices.
This can lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, especially when they face high standards that seem impossible to meet. As a result, their confidence in social situations and new environments suffers, creating a lasting impact on their self-worth.
Lack of Critical Thinking Skills
Authoritarian parenting often demands unquestioning obedience, which can hinder a child’s ability to think critically and make independent decisions. Children raised in such an environment may struggle to analyze situations or solve problems on their own, as they are not encouraged to explore different viewpoints.
The lack of support for independent thought leaves them without the skills needed to confidently face challenges and form their own opinions.
Rebellion and Resentment
Children under authoritarian parenting often become tired of the endless list of rules, leading them to defy their parents and start testing limits. This desire to rebel can sometimes jeopardize their safety and well-being, as they may push back against any authority figures they encounter. The lack of autonomy and open communication in this rigid, strict style can create deep feelings of resentment.
As teenagers or college students, they might rebel in unhealthy ways, engaging in risky behaviors to assert their independence. These disadvantages highlight how such a parenting approach can lead to lasting struggles and even mental illness in the future.
Tips to Foster a Healthier Parenting Style
- To avoid authoritarian parenting, create a balanced environment with structure that is delivered in a warmer and supportive manner.
- Psychologists recommend building a mutually understanding relationship with your child by actively listening to their feelings, thoughts, and concerns without judgment.
- Ross Goodwin, MD of child and adolescent psychiatrist, advises against demanding children to obey instructions immediately without question, as it can lead to harsh punishments, yelling, or shaming.
- Instead, provide necessary structure while allowing for exceptions, creating a more nurturing and supportive environment.
- When your child is distressed, be responsive and validate their feelings rather than using name-calling or physical discipline.
- Dr. Henin and other family therapists suggest focusing on open communication to understand your child’s perspective and help them learn from their mistakes within a positive parent-child relationship.
- Maintain rules and guidance, but in a way that makes your child feel loved and supported.
- Stay aware of authoritarian tendencies and practice a more authoritative approach to raise confident, responsible, and well-adjusted individuals who can grow through the learning process.
